I have to admit, this week has really brought a lot of internal struggle! While I am diligently completing my daily ‘to do’ list of reading and sitting, I am questioning my purpose statement each time I read it, yet when I sit down to edit it, I just wind up feeling frustrated. I have written many ‘goal statements’ in the past, and most of what I have written has not come to fruition. This time I really want to be totally clear on what it is that I truly want in my spirit yet there is a battle going on in my head, and it seems my mind is throwing a tantrum, resisting change, or being told what to do, so to speak. It seems that my conscious mind has been in control for so long and does not want to take a back seat to its subconscious counterpart.
I have been relying for so long on what I think I can accomplish in my own strength, and what I want, instead of just putting others first and having faith and trust in the Creator of the Universe to orchestrate the rest of the details from His unlimited resources. After all, he knows the desires of my heart much better than I do! It was a big revelation to me this past week, that I was putting my faith in a company to take care of my financial future if I just put the work in. I had been beating myself up for years for not trying harder, putting more time and effort in; blaming myself for what I had not yet accomplished, yet I just could not get my heart to follow suit. What I realize now, is that I was going about it all backwards. My purpose for being on this earth, first and foremost is to love and serve, be it my children, my husband, or those in need that I have something to offer. So if I am truly walking out God’s plan for my life, and loving and serving others is at the heart of it, I am certain the resources for accomplishing the goal will be provided, along with whatever I need, without having to strive for them out of my own strength. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11: 29-30